In my current class, Protecting the Child, which is part of a course in Child Studies, the topic of accountability in social work with children came up.
Below is a piece excerpted from the reading, in which a social worker named Cassie is talking:
"It is really important [for children],
especially for children who are placed in care,
that they’ve got a right to look at their files
and look back at the decisions that were made about their lives...[I]f we don’t document that [that's] a huge chunk of their lives that they, maybe ever, can come to terms with
because they won’t ever understand why
decisions were made.
[W]hen they grow up and they decide
they want to read their files,
I think it could probably be a huge part of them
coming to terms with their life
and it should be there, it’s really important.
And also, if they’re not given a good service...they should be able to challenge that
I think it’s important that we’re able to evidence what we have done"
As both a recipient and a provider of parenting (I am someone's daughter, and am accepted as a stepmother on a continuous basis) I know that it is all but inevitable for parents not to make decisions they greatly impact the lives of their children, without them having any real say and, often, not much insight as to the rationale and circumstances that were in play.
Separations and the many choices made as dealing with their fallout; establishment of a new family, or adding members to the existing one; relocations; a million choices of words and actions by parents that aren't forgotten and/or has lasting effects on child-parent relationships; and rules for what is allowed and not.
Just to name a few.
I want parents to see the importance for their children to be able to, when they are ready and willing, get an account of the rationale and background of such choices.
Ideally it should not start and end with a choice being made; there should have been a preceding assessment and consideration of potential impact on the child.
Even if that wasn't done, and it is at times too much to ask except as being an aspired to ideal, there should be a proceeding and never ending parental responsibility to learn about and learn from the consequences of a decision on the child, and to provide an answer, according to a child's ability to understand, when asked Why?
Of course, unlike for professional roles, the role of parent has very few enforceable requirements and standards, and so all this depends on there being good relationships between good people.
So, more than anything, I wish for every parent-child relationship to be as secure and as loving; and every individual as a child and/or parent, to be as confident in themselves and in being loved unconditionally by their parents; as to want accountability (also when expressed as challenging) and feedback (also when it is critical) of the care and parenting provided
Myself, as I see it; well, I know I have been a good enough parent when my children tell me ways in which I wasn't.